I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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