I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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