I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
