Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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