you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
