Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
