You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
