so let's talk penis.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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