Duck Duck Cougar?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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