He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
