Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
