Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
