all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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