My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
