We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
