You made me cry and you don't even care
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize