New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize