You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Who died my cat blue again?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
