why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
