do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think your dad took our porno
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
