At least make sure they are 18
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.