erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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