This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
