I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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