so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
