There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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