I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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