Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
