wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
