Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
