I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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