I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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