Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize