I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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