On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
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I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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