If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
