She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
