i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
