We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
