But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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