Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Randomize
