The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.