Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed