my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me