Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You should frame my arrest warrant.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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