Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
