By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just blew my weed a kiss
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
