How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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