Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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