Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
