Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
