Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
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