i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
