If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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