I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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