Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
