I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
