I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
