I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
